Sunday, December 28, 2008

Countdown...

If you notice, I've added a countdown timer to the blog. Yes, I'm going home. This time I'm moving for good!! So many things have happened since that last post.

While I was home because of Mom's illness, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and has so far refused any treatment. I've been offered a job back home I just can't refuse. Holly is pregnant again and then... I found something amazing that I never expected...

So, it was time for some decisions and those have been made. I just can't live here anymore. I've been here 10 years and that's at least 5 more than I wanted. I feel I've given so much and nothing has been given back. So, I've filed for divorce and given notice at my job. January 17th is my last day working. I've worked on arrangements concerning Sofia and hopefully all that will go well. We've decided to share custody of her and she will live in both countries. When I go home, I will be leaving her here for at least 3 months while I get started working and making a place for her. I know I will be devastated when I leave her. I pray someday she will understand all this.

So, the whole thing is so bittersweet. I feel extreme joy at the decision I have made and cannot wait to move on with my life. But I also feel extreme sorrow that I have to leave my little girl and not have her with me all the time. I wish decisions in my life could be just a little easier sometimes...